Peace Resumed
Matt has not been meeting me as often as he did before because he has to pacify Wifey. But things have settled down.
Granted, I did not take it well at first. We had many “I-know-I’m-married-what-do-you-expect-me-to-do?” arguments. I couldn't understand why he became absent both physically and emotionally. His nonchalance and my resultant despair broke me. I drank, drunk messaged and had sleepless nights frustratedly punching into my pillow.
Afterwards, we had another but-I-still-love-and-want-to-be-with-you-talk. We made up. As always, making up was sweet and tender. Matt made a bit more effort to spend time with me and everything felt right again. The skies looked brighter because he said he cared. The birds are singing in tune with us. I am smiling again.
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I know I should just shut the hell up and enjoy the bliss now. But I cannot resist thinking: How long will this last? You see, as this affair progresses, I feel myself spiraling out of control. My thoughts, my feelings, my life – they have all gone awry. Even writing this blog, where previously it helped me put things into perspective better, it really is plain ranting now. Without getting anywhere nearer the next remotely “sensible” step.
Happy three-month anniversary Baby.
Granted, I did not take it well at first. We had many “I-know-I’m-married-what-do-you-expect-me-to-do?” arguments. I couldn't understand why he became absent both physically and emotionally. His nonchalance and my resultant despair broke me. I drank, drunk messaged and had sleepless nights frustratedly punching into my pillow.
Afterwards, we had another but-I-still-love-and-want-to-be-with-you-talk. We made up. As always, making up was sweet and tender. Matt made a bit more effort to spend time with me and everything felt right again. The skies looked brighter because he said he cared. The birds are singing in tune with us. I am smiling again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
I know I should just shut the hell up and enjoy the bliss now. But I cannot resist thinking: How long will this last? You see, as this affair progresses, I feel myself spiraling out of control. My thoughts, my feelings, my life – they have all gone awry. Even writing this blog, where previously it helped me put things into perspective better, it really is plain ranting now. Without getting anywhere nearer the next remotely “sensible” step.
Happy three-month anniversary Baby.
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