Crash and Burn

I know I haven’t been writing for a while, but it’s not because I didn’t want to. My mind’s not been quite itself lately, and I have had difficulty putting my thoughts down. Maybe that’s how it is, when you are just “cruising along”. You don’t really THINK, until the bloody truck in front of you emergency brakes.

Anyhow, I am supposed to meet my sis “to talk” tomorrow and to say that I am “worried”, is laughably an understatement. The profile of my sis (wife, mother of two, married young) isn’t likely to win me many sympathy votes. Not that I am deluded enough to think I deserve any of course. I hardly think that she will tolerate the romantic-true-connection-intimacy-shared-soul justifications I have aplenty of, if nothing else.

I can only hope that my sis can understand, even if she disagrees.

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!I wish that I had no one to answer to except myself and the other. I loathe being judged or told what to do. I want freewheeling recklessness, stolen time, the sheer liberation of unaccountability.

I want to believe that all that's fair in love, that as long as what I’m doing feels right, it probably is.But no, ET, this is planet Earth, remember?